Only in Dreams
by Eowyn Organa
Summary: Oneshot. For a hanyou, real life is all about survival, living to go on another day. But Inuyasha learns the past can scar as much as the present when a youkai named Sesshoumaru crosses his path, claiming he ruined his life...


**A/N: **Okay, I was going to update **Replacement** today, but after seeing today's manga chapter (Aww, Inuyasha DOES care about his brother, even if he doesn't want to admit it!) I decided to finish this instead.

This one-shot is sort of a "missing moment" from Inuyasha that I really wanted to see--when Inuyasha first met Sesshoumaru. I mean, with as much tension as the boys go through, their first meeting had to be rather...explosive. This was how I envisioned it. I hope it lives up to everyone else's expectations too. Sorry it's so short, but I honestly couldn't add any more without it sucking. Oh, and you can make up your own mind about whether he's seeing Kikyou or Kagome; I left it open. Since I see this oneshot as taking place 50 years before he meets Kikyou, I think he's seeing more of Kikyou/Kagome's spirit, since yaknow, they had the same soul and all that. But that's just my take, make up your own mind.

Man, I like writing AUs because it gives me a lot of freedom, but I do miss writing canon Inuyasha. ;( I might do some more oneshots, once the manga goes in the direction we want it to go (Inukag kiss and such).

Enjoy!

* * *

**Only In Dreams**

_There she was again…that soft, gentle figure that haunted his dreams…He couldn't see her face, he couldn't hear her voice, but somehow, her soft smile came through, lightening his heart once more. Her laugher rang like bells in his ears, while somehow, he knew he had made her happy. _

_She was happy to be here with him, happy to be by his side…accepting him for who he was, and loving him for it._

But, she only existed in his dreams.

He was sleeping, up in a tree as usual, far enough away to be safe if anything came across his path. It was uncomfortable, but he did what he could to survive. That's all his life existed for now, and probably all it would ever be about—survival.

Life as a hanyou meant survival or death; he had learned that long ago.

He didn't fit in anywhere in the world; humans tried to hunt him down for being a "dangerous" youkai, and youkai hunted him as well, thinking he would be an easy kill. He was alone, and would always be alone; he knew that ever since his mother died so long ago…

But still, when he slept, that woman came to him; holding him and promising him one day, they would meet. Not that he believed it, but hearing it was nice…something to take him away from his hardships for a little while, and imagine what it would be life if those dreams were reality…if he wasn't hunted all his life, if he could meet a woman who really didn't care what he was, to live with her a normal life, and never have to worry about being hunted again.

"_Wait for me," _she murmured, but he couldn't quite make out her voice. _"I'm coming for you, Inuyasha…then I'll be with you, always…" _

He had been fast asleep, but his keen senses were trained to alert him even in slumber. An unusual scent; the snap of a twig, and amber eyes flew open, silver ears twitching at the noise.

Someone was here.

Without making a sound, Inuyasha the hanyou glanced around the small clearing, where he had chosen to sleep. He was in a high tree, completely shielded by the abundance of large, green leaves, but he couldn't be too careful.

He couldn't quite see who was there, but their scent came to his nose almost instantly. A youkai! But would it be able to tell if he was there? It was night, with the endless sky high above them, and he didn't particularly want to fight now; not when he could go back to dreaming of that mystery woman, who eluded his thoughts in daylight, but often visited in his dreams.

There was another step taken by the stranger, and Inuyasha glanced in that direction. Through the canopy of leaves, he was able to make out one thing; silver hair. A trait belonging to many youkai; though the ones he knew of were quite strong, and liked a good fight whenever they could get it.

It didn't matter even if he was a hanyou, however; his mother told him, long ago, that he was the son of the Inu no Taisho, the strongest youkai in the Western Lands. His father's blood had given him the strength to survive in this world, even if it meant a life of battle and hardship. Though he didn't want to fight right now, if this youkai wanted it, he could hold his own, he was sure.

The stranger then stepped in to the clearing, and Inuyasha could see him fully; the youkai did indeed have long, silver hair; but not only that, he had golden eyes, and wore markings upon his face…markings that were vaguely familiar to him… This youkai wore an elegant white hakama and haori, a single sword at his hip, and wore an unusual tuft of white fur over his armor, flung over the right shoulder…there was something about that fur that struck a memory deep within the hanyou's brain.

_He's…an inu youkai! _

Indeed he was; he could tell further as the youkai stopped in the middle of the clearing, golden eyes glancing around for a moment, as if trying to catch a scent. Inuyasha scrambled back a moment, but he knew the youkai would have already picked it up.

The youkai's head instantly turned to glare at where he was hidden. "Show yourself," he ordered in a demanding tone.

Inuyasha debated for a moment, but then leapt out from behind the branches, landing neatly on the forest floor, his eyes in a matching glare. "Keh, you have a good nose."

He could see the youkai's eyes glance up for a moment, to stare at the dog ears on top of Inuyasha's head, before responding. "And you are pathetic by even your own standards, hanyou, if you cannot hide your own scent properly."

Growling, Inuyasha raised his claws. "I don't need to hide it. Nothing has killed me yet. And I'm not planning on letting anything kill me anytime soon."

A slight breeze blew through the forest, blowing the stranger's hair in front of his face, so you could only see his eyes…for a brief moment, Inuyasha thought he was staring at something out of the past…something buried within his brain from years ago. But as the wind receded, he shook himself out of those nonsense thoughts. "Of course," the youkai replied. "But all the same, you are but a weak hanyou; even if you are the spawn of the Inu no Taishou."

That took Inuyasha by surprise as he stumbled back for a brief moment in shock. "Wait…how do you know…"

Folding his arms, the youkai answered, "Unfortunately, I know everything about you, Inuyasha. About your father, the great Inu no Taishou who fell so low by rutting with a human; your mother, who shamed herself and her family by giving birth to you; an abomination to the inu youkai line, filled with the stink of human."

His mother had died years ago, but Inuyasha still growled loudly at the insult. "Who are you that knows so much about me?" he demanded, holding up his claws in a threat.

The stranger held no expression on his face, but said, "Sesshoumaru."

There was something oddly…familiar about that name, but nonetheless, Inuyasha wasn't going to dwell upon it. "'Sesshoumaru', huh? That still doesn't explain why you know so much about me!"

Sesshoumaru now glared back at Inuyasha, his eyes cold with what could only be hate. "I wish I had never learned anything about you, hanyou. To think that the Inu no Taishou would dare taint his pure bloodline with this filth…it sickens me."

Unable to take it any longer, Inuyasha growled, "Sorry to hear that!" and lunged towards Sesshoumaru, claws raised. He didn't even get halfway before a whip of golden light shot with ease from his enemy's fingertips, knocking him back with such a strong force, that he flew back in to the tree, knocking the wind out of him.

Giving a grunt of pain, Inuyasha fell forward to his knees, breathing deeply. _He's strong…_he didn't think he had ever met a youkai that matched this strength…even Sesshoumaru's youki was so large, his own pitiful one paled in comparison. _How can he be so strong?_

Looking up, Inuyasha could see Sesshoumaru walking slowly towards him, golden eyes more hateful than Inuyasha had ever seen. "You dare stand up to me, hanyou? You, that is the weak bastard of the Inu no Taishou!"

Managing to stand up, Inuyasha yelled, "Don't talk about my father like that!"

"Why shouldn't I?" growled Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha could see a flicker of red behind those golden eyes. "I knew him for far longer than you ever did, half breed!"

The hanyou didn't quite understand. _What is he so angry about? _"Keh, if you've got a problem with my father, then you're out of luck; he's been dead for years."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed, his voice cool, yet more dangerous than before. Inuyasha barely had time to put on his guard before his attacker spoke, "No, I'm afraid…all my problems began with you, hanyou!" The golden whip flashed once more, knocking Inuyasha back again. He gave a small cry of pain as he fell hard on to the forest floor, his cheek cut and bleeding from the whip.

Not going to take this abuse any longer, Inuyasha quickly slid his claws along the blood across his cheek, yelling, "Hijinkessou!" The flying blades of blood flew at Sesshoumaru, who swiped them away with ease. A split second later, the hanyou ran at him, roaring, "Sankon Tessou!"

Sesshoumaru's fist collided with Inuyasha's stomach just before he could land his attack. Gasping in pain, the hanyou was thrown back against the ground, clutching his chest as he landed. When he could breathe once more, he looked up weakly to see Sesshoumaru standing above him, clearly the victor. "I cannot imagine the Inu no Taishou's sorrow," he spoke, his tone icy thick. "Giving everything, even his very life, to allow something this pathetic to live."

Getting to his feet, Inuyasha muttered, "Don't ask me about my father. I hardly knew him."

"Of course," the youkai countered. "Because if you did, he would have certainly disowned you."

Roaring in fury, Inuyasha ran towards Sesshoumaru once more, but before he could even get close, Sesshoumaru flicked him away with the whip of light, knocking him back into the nearest tree. He hit it so hard that he crumbled at the base, blood spattering across his face as he lay still for a moment, unable to move.

"But I do wonder, why he would have risked everything for you, a pathetic half-breed with no future but to die at the hands of another, stronger youkai, when there was another one he could have bothered to care a little about." Sesshoumaru's voice was so full of hate, that Inuyasha couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated.

The other youkai stepped closer, his scent full in Inuyasha's senses seeming familiar…so very familiar…And then his nose picked up the scent of his own blood across his face, and he gasped in realization. Sesshoumaru's scent smelled so familiar because it was so close to his own! "You…"

Golden eyes narrowing, Sesshoumaru looked down at the younger brother he was cursed to have. Knowing what the hanyou must have guessed, he continued, "Indeed. Did you think you were so special, hanyou, that you were the only son of the Inu no Taishou?"

Inuyasha could hardly believe what he was hearing. He had a brother? He was never told! "You are my…"

Red flashed behind golden eyes. "I was to be his only true heir; to rule over the Western Lands with his most precious treasure. But then, Father found a human woman in the village nearby, a woman he claimed to 'love'. You, you and your whore of a mother ruined everything for me, Inuyasha!"

Still too weak to move and defend himself, Inuyasha growled, "Keh, I don't give a damn about your life, Sesshoumaru! Go and be the heir, I don't care."

His golden eyes narrowed, as his knuckles cracked in a warning. "Do you think, that mere lands will make up for everything that you brought upon me, half-breed?"

The whip flashed again, and Inuyasha cried in pain as he was flung aside as easily as a sack of flour. "It was because of your mother that my own was shamed when he left her for the whore! It was because of you that I was denied my true inheritance! And if it wasn't for you and your wretch of a mother, Father would still be alive today!"

Inuyasha could smell blood lust in the air; he didn't care about Sesshoumaru's losses, but he knew the youkai would kill him if he didn't do anything to defend himself. But, he was weak; fighting the youkai son of the Inu no Taishou was almost as if fighting the Inu no Taishou himself. With one last effort, he leapt in to the air with a cry, ready to swipe at his half-brother with everything he had—

Sesshoumaru didn't even touch him; his youki was so strong and so full of rage, that before Inuyasha even got close, he was blown back; flying fast until a tree abruptly stopped him. Blood flew everywhere, and he slid down, barely conscious. He couldn't open his eyes but he heard Sesshoumaru turn to look at him. The blood lust in the air was gone.

"You destroyed everything I had, Inuyasha. And one day be sure, I _will_ kill you. Until then, you will linger as nothing but a measly hanyou; unwanted and unloved. Death will be a blessing, for someone such as you."

Inuyasha's ears barely heard Sesshoumaru walking away, leaving him there, bleeding and vulnerable, before he slipped in to unconsciousness.

In his dreams, the mystery woman was there once more; her kind eyes filled with tears as she looked at him, holding him gently and telling him softly that everything was going to be all right. Her long black hair cascaded down around him, entrapping him in her spell. He was enchanted by her; by her kindness and her laughter, and he didn't care…he wanted it more than anything he had ever wanted before.

But even as he slept, torn away from the cruel world that hated him so much, somehow he knew this; the woman that visited him every night, was not real.

A woman so kind that she would love a hanyou without shame only existed in his dreams.


End file.
